Pastor's Blog

Life without parents

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Pastor Tom

My mom died Wednesday, January 4, 2012. She had been ill for quite some time. We were surprised when it happened because she seemed to be doing better. Yet, in the end it was a blessing. She had suffered much over 2011. I have experienced grief in my Mom’s passing. Even though we were prepared, there was still the shock of not having that person to talk with anymore.
Yet the more surprising thing to me was that suddenly, I had no parents. My dad died in 2005. Yet I still had Mom to talk to and her life experience to draw from. But from January 4th on I’ve entered new territory. .
I know millions have traveled this road before. Many of you are walking it right now. But someone taught me many years ago that I don’t have to pretend that I have all the answers because I don’t. Nobody does. So I’ve learned to ask others about their life experience and what they’ve learned in living life without parents.
Here’s some comments received so far:
• That “orphan” feeling takes a long time to get used to.
• I did not ever think I would miss my mom as much as I do as time goes on.
• It’s very weird not having parents. Mom went hom last January 6th and it is lonely without her. I think I have taken over her role, being the eldest of her children. Sometimes that’s ok, but sometimes it’s too much.
• I still remember the feelings I had after both my parents were gone. Parents give us a context…we’re surrounded by those who are older and younger. After they died, my brother and I were the oldest in our family. The context was lost..you feel vulnerable and exposed because you are now on the outer perimeter. As long as our parents are alive we consider our death remote, one generation removed. When they’re gone we realize we will probably be the next to die. That requires a whole new orientation.

Yet, though I no longer have parents physically with us on Earth, I am not without a parent. This is one of the great hopes we have in Christianity. I have a Heavenly Father who never leaves me or forsakes me. He will continue to guide me and lead me until my time comes. I also have hope because both my parents trusted in Jesus Christ as their Savior. Because of that trust, they did not fear death. They remembered that Jesus promised to go and prepare a place for them. And to die is gain because they now see Jesus face to face. And I also hope because of the coming resurrection. I know I will see my parents again when the Lord returns. He will raise the dead in Christ and give them new resurrection bodies that will never pass away.

Death certainly has some sting today. But Jesus conquered it on the cross and when He rose physically three days later. When He returns, death will be defeated forever. Until then, I walk forward under the leadership and direction of my Heavenly Father.

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