This was a nightmare. As I write this, 21 days ago my son had a medical event where his blood pressure dropped, suddenly. An ambulance rushed him to the Stollery where Doctors did everything they possibly could to save his life. It was the hardest day I've ever experienced by far. I cried out to the Lord, asking him to spare my son and yet at the same time knowing the reality that sometimes parents lose their children.
My rational mind playing the odds out and my heart crying out for my son. In the deep anguish, I cried out to the Lord and recalled the verses from Lamentations 3:19-24:
Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
Hope. Not hope that I will be problem free, but hope in God's steadfast love, mercies and faithfulness. I can't explain it, but God gave me a sense of peace in those moments. Not knowing the outcome and yet knowing that whatever happens. God was with me and He would care for me even in the most devastating outcome. Then, I was filled with deep gratitude.
Through this darkest time. It is an odd thing to experience a peace that surpasses all understanding. However, it is in these darkest moments when we can only rely on God. That we can truly experience this peace that God offers to us. As I looked around, I was thankful for the amazing team of people who were working so hard for my son. I was thankful for my wife, her heart, her strength, and her love. I was thankful my daughter was with us and for her deep love for her brother. I was grateful to the Lord who had given me nine wonderful years with my son, and for which I was a much better man because of that time. An odd feeling for sure, but nonetheless, it was what I felt.
Every hour after that event, my son began to do a little bit better, and a little bit better, and a little bit better. 21 days later, my son has made a full recovery, and is almost ready to come home. Unbelievable to see him today from where he was. As you can imagine, my feeling of gratitude is overflowing. God has been so merciful to us. Our family and church have been so supportive. The hospital staff has been amazing. Gratitude.
Every situation we face is as major as this, and yet this is a testimony that in all things, no matter how difficult, God is our hope. It is because of who God is that we can have this hope and be filled with peace and gratitude. As you take stock of your life and the problems that surround you, remember that God is your portion and put your hope in Him.